Either / Or

From the M word and originally published on the huffington post....a simple yet beautiful and profound poem that can help us all understand what it feels like for a girl...

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/kate-bornstein/gender-as-neithernor_b_58397.html

Meat is Murder

Its always nice to know that in a time of need, The Smiths have always provided company with their song selection. This morning, "meat is murder" has been echoing in my mind. I don't expect you to know the song but it inspired this carnivore to change her ways 10 years ago. Yesterday, this vegetarian was diving into a burrito when I realized that the texture of the food in my mouth felt oddly out of place. It felt like rubber, it was chewy and and by the time I pushed it down my throat, it was too late. I looked down on my plate and saw a square piece of that chicken staring right at me. The convulsions started and while I did my best to control the overwhelming urge to regurgitate, a sliver of it managed to funnel up my throat. Thats a sure fire way to lose ones' appetite. My fellow vegetarian lunch mate looked at my plate, inspected the burrito and after careful prodding, assured me there were no other foreign substances. I was too hungry not to finish the meal so after a long sip of water to cleanse my palette, I picked up where I left off.

Its unfortunate that this happened at La Salsa--second only to Baja Fresh as my food of choice in downtown. Once scorned tho' I can't ever go back. The flesh you so fancifully fryed, was not succulent, tasty or kind. I went home that evening and the convulsions followed.

Hairdresser On Fire

...or put another way...imma 'bout to fire my hairdresser. Dammit...its always the little battles that can friggin make or break your day! Did y'all hear the words that were coming outta ma mouth? I asked for partial highlights not full highlights nor to be charged for them. I specifically did not want black but you felt compelled to use that color anyway. Do you see the people that work in your salon? Do you see that 99% of them have black hair and yet every single one of them, has different highlights? Can you treat this customer in the same manner that all y'all would wanna be treated and touched?Don't get me wrong here now..loved the 20 minute head massage and the eye candy but that did NOT give you the right to treat me as your pesonal guinea pig. Did you hear me say I wanted to cut my hair? Its only taken 9 months to grow out, but sure what the f*ck...chop it off..chop it all off and go scissor happy why don't ya.I just wanted you to psychologically save me and I had faith in you...but within an hour that power just totally destroyed me. Thank You.

ABCs and 123s

After settling down from the month long birthday festivities, I've been on a quest for balance, on the hunt for intellectual stimulation that can come by the way of a well written book. The books that capture my attention are usually referrals from friends or personal discoveries based on subject matter and every now and then, I admit to judging them by their covers. So with a few recommendations in hand, I walked down to the local bookstore and began my shopping spree. Bypassing the Harry Potter stand and avoiding the discount section, I came across a circular table with just one book. Upon closer inspection, it turned out to be a post mortem release by Shel Silverstein titled, "Runny Babbit". Did you get that?? Your eyes did not deceive--it takes about 10 seconds for the brain to process and send you a message that what you read is Bunny Rabbit, regardless of what your eyes actually see. I picked up the book and began flipping through it to see if indeed, the entire book was written in this manner. It was. And it freaked me out. My heart started racing with the fervor of someone watching a horror flick. Reading this book was either going to cure the dyslexia that I've battled over the years, or was it going to exacerbate it. I was too scared to find out so I put it down and walked away. Never one to leave empty handed, I picked up some crossword puzzles and in the effort of self-improvement, "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People." Jackson 5 ....Michael J...wha chu' talking about?? ABC's are not as easy for me as 123's. That's why I stick with numbers baby.